Enough
by you're my Star
Summary: There was a time when she wasn’t fighting to smile and laugh and get through a day without thinking about the whole could have been that’s clawing away at her life. [Liberty's thoughts, with a tasty side of some JT.Liberty]


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Degrassi or any of these characters.

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Everyone seems to think that she'll stay together, what they don't know is that she's falling apart. The best she can do is wake up every morning, she can go on with her life. She can live and breath and she can _get by_. They'll shower her with _I'm So Proud of You's _and sprinkle all the flavors of _You're Amazing _throughout her day, but their words don't mean anything.

She's different from the girl they remember.

There was a time when she wasn't fighting to smile and laugh and get through a day without thinking about the whole could-have-been that's clawing away at her life. Lately she's masochistic, she's cold and she's utterly alone… and she doesn't know if she can change.

Once upon a time she was what one might call happy, a good boyfriend - and she was in _love _with him, a normal life - and she _liked _it that way, but then came along a little bundle of joy and everything blew up in her face. She figured she could correct the problem by shipping the baby away, it would be someone else's problem then, but that was just another misconception. The idea was disguised as brilliant, but underneath it was only catastrophic.

She is a failure, and that detail is the hardest to bear. Because she's Liberty, and she didn't fail. Not until now. Her heavyhearted anguish is just a side effect of ruining everything she loved single-handedly. She can't forgive herself.

Getting by gets just a little more complicated when she sees the smiling Mia, rocking her baby back and forth, and looking altogether too content. Out of everything, this is hardest for Liberty. It makes her want to scream.

She'll begin to turn her head, determined to spare herself from the self-induced sadness welling up inside her. And then, as she's in the process of composing herself and stifling the emotion erupting inside her, someone comes up beside Mia, wrapping their arm securely around her waist. They smile down at the delicate baby cradled in Mia's arms, pressing their lips against Mia's temple.

It's painfully easy for Liberty to recognize him, a brown blanket of face-framing hair wraps around the crown of his head, the ends spitting out in all directions. He's wearing a mint green polo shirt, the collar on it's is popped. (And he knows how much she hates 'popped' collars, she can't help but wonder if he's only popped it to spite her.)

His arm is around Mia's waist and Liberty can't help but feel like he's protecting Mia from all the bad in the world, and she can't help but wish he was protecting her instead. She could really use the protection.

Mia smiles brightly at him as he laughs at something she has said. The girl, the boy, and the baby: they're the very personification of happiness. Picture perfect.

And Liberty's only a walking, breathing bundle of regrets and could-have-been's.

When Liberty is forced to endure his happiness her's melts away. He _stole _the last remains of her happiness. All that's left of her is a bitter attitude and a sadness that she can't seem to fight back down. Her life is spiraling uncontrollably downwards and there is nothing she can do about it…

He smiles down at Mia's baby, and Mia laughs heartily, looking at him with admiration splattered plainly across her face. The scene is eerily sweet and unsettling, and Liberty can hardly stomach it.

Then he kisses Mia on the lips and although it only lasts for a few second it lingers long enough to shatter Liberty's façade and as suddenly as a train wreck she's just not so okay anymore. She tells herself he's _just _a boy, _just _the father of her baby, but the truth is she's _just _in love with him. Still in love with him. The truth tastes so strange in her mouth.

As quickly as the threesome had come, they part. He goes to his car and Mia shuffles across the parking lot, her baby's head resting in the crook of her neck, smiling. Liberty wonders if her baby misses her as much as she misses him.

But she'll never know, will she?

Liberty stands stone still for a few moments, she pretends she's carrying her baby in her arms, and he was by her side coaxing a laugh from her and smiling a smile that isn't meant for anyone else's eyes. A smile meant only for her. She pretends she's happy, and she can _almost _feel it

… Then she goes back to living and breathing and pretending that it's enough.

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**A/N: **Well. This is different. And chances are far less gramatically correct than the stuff I usually write, but I liked it. I feel bad for poor Liberty and JT, I'd say the whole adoption shebang screwed them up. Be kind and make my day and tell me what you thought, good or bad, as it's very... experimental.


End file.
